Don't Get "Fresh" With Me

Finally got out of the house today and went to Baja Fresh. I ordered their chicken quesadilla. To quote Simon Cowell, "That was terrible, I mean just awful."

Everyone Should Have One.

And I'm not talking about a Magnolia cupcake.

I was a little down today. While my vision continues to improve day to day, it's still not good enough to drive. Thus, I spent the entire day home.

For some, staying home all day is a treat. But ever since my ability to drive was compromised, I've spent a lot of time at home. I think it's starting to get to me.

Don't get me wrong: I've gotten out of the house- Paul takes me out when he can, and friends drop by and give me rides everywhere. My favorite trip out is to a restaurant, where I indulge in treats unavailable at home. And last week, when the weather warmed up a bit, I went out and walked each day. It was very therapeutic.

But today I felt sad. I started wondering whether I will ever drive again. I called my best friend to chat. We talked about many things, one of which was how I felt today.

I confided in him. And while I was completely transparent, I felt 100% safe in telling him everything. It's a vulnerable spot to be in, but I never have a problem being completely open to him.

Not only did he listen, he even got me to laugh. I hung up the phone feeling so much better.

Everyone should have one: a friend like mine that they can talk to. Someone you can talk to without having to put up any guards. Someone who genuinely listens. Someone who sincerely cares for you. Someone who knows your secrets, and leaves them just as they are.

I am truly grateful for him in my life.

And The Loser Is...

Why win an Oscar today when you could win a "Razzie"? It's time for the 27th annual Golden Rasberry Awards, saluting the worst of 2007!

Congratulations (I guess) to these "winners":

Worst Movie Of The Year:
Basic Instinct 2

Worst Director Of The Year:
M. Night Shyamalan, "Lady In The Water"

Worst Actor(s) Of The Year:
Wayans Brothers, "Little Man"

Worst Actress Of The Year:
Carmen Electra, "Date Movie"

Big Dawg & Fat Cats

40% of household pets in America are not considered overweight, but obese.

It's the other way around- pets really start looking like their owners.

Head Rush

Ladies, I know exactly what happens when you go to the salon. First you get a shampoo, cut, and blowdry. You leave looking fabulous and ready to hurt people with your new 'do. A couple of days later after washing your own hair, it never looks as good as it did when you left the salon, no matter how hard you try.

It was all in the blow-dry, wasn't it?

Presenting Blow-Dry Boot Camp. Pont De Vue in Los Angeles, offers women a two day crash course on proper technique in blow-drying your hair so it you look like you just left the salon.

The biggest mistake they see women make: a lack of coordination between the way they hold the brush in one hand and point the dryer in another. They offer a few tips: 1. Comb your and part your hair hair into four cleanly squared sections through use of your mirror. 2. Short hair: short brush. Long hair: longer and thicker brush. 3. Volume your hair by heating the first two inches in the brush for at least eight seconds.

Sorry ladies, a stylist caliber blow-dry after leaving the salon chair isn't achieved just by drying it upside down.

Cute

Asian dumpling I know. You'll eggroll.

Oscar Whiner

We are now a week away from the Oscars. I normally look forward to watching them, but this year, I feel like an Oscar weiner.

Last week while I was recovering, my family and I rented a couple of movies- 'The Departed', which I had never seen, and 'Superman Returns', my favorite summer movie from last year. We watched them back-to-back.

'The Departed' was a great movie. All-star cast, phenomenal acting, Scorcece directing, brilliant. Heaps of Oscar nominations.

'Superman Returns' stole my heart. I loved it. Beautiful cinematography, exciting action sequences, Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor, and a story true to the original Reeve-as-Superman movies. I cried when I first saw it. But not a single Oscar nomination.

Now, don't get me wrong- I can see and understand why movies like 'The Departed', 'Little Miss Sunshine', and 'The Queen' receive nominations, but I feel like something is completely missing from Oscar's VIP List: movies that appeal to the masses. There is something to be said about their box office numbers and their ability to draw in the larger population other than the upper-educated middle class crowd.

My must-see DVD for you if you've seen all the Oscar nominees this year and want a good break from them all: 'Superman Returns'.

Home Again.

I'm further down recovery road- a rendezvous between my parents and Paul occured yesterday in order to bring me back to Arlington, Virginia. I'm happily now at my own home, watching previously recorded shows in ultra-double vision.

AAAAAAAAHH

HHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm a man with cajones again.

Still Recovering, Still In Love

Using the words and pronounciation that my mom uses, "Happy Balemtime!"

Update: my vision has may have improved only slightly (hey, anything's better than nothin'), and I get that "rope in my raisins" removed Thursday morning.

I was just doin' a little bit o' reflecting on love here at the computer. I'm in a pretty needy state right now: people need to feed me, clean me, and even empty out my pee bag. I can barely see straight, I limp like a grandpa when I walk, and when I eat, someone has to direct me where to point my fork.

Love is hittin' me three ways in this state:

1) Love from the family: my sister, mom, and dad, without an ounce of hesitation and delay, come to my rescue and help me with everything. It's programmed inside them. It's automatic:one of us is down, so we're directed and desugned to pull them up.

2) Love from Paul: his love is different than my family's, because his is completely voluntary. He, at any moment, can choose a path for his life with or without me. Yet every day, he conciously makes the decision to be in this relationship with someone who has this as this illness. "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, he chooses Ernie."

That sure is love, ain't it?!

3) Love from friends: I don't know how or exactly why, but people come outta' nowhere when someone's sick. And they do it on many levels, not just my friends caring for me, but my mom's friends caring for my mom, my sister's friends checking in on how's Ellen. I told y'all to keep propping up Paul, because he's so busy propping up me. I know you were there for him.

My eyes are tired.

I Was Discharged Yesterday

and sent home.

Right now, I'm recovering at my parents' house in Charlottesville, Virginia. I'm at their laptop trying to update and fill you in with what's going on, but since I'm seeing double vision, I can't see the screen very well.

The surgery went okay as far as brain surgeries go. The neurosurgeon went in transphenoidally (through my nose), removed what he could of the brain tumor, and patched me up.

Recovery was tough, because I couldn't urinate on my own. The The anasthesia numbed my bladder, so they put a catheter on me. I'm still wearing it. I don't like it. It feels like there's a telephone cord attached to the inside of the family jewels. It makes it very difficult to walk around.

Paul, My sister Ellen, and my brother-in-law Andrew were all in town to support me and watch the drama unfold.

Unexpected Brain Surgery

Dear family, friends, and loved ones who like to know "where's Ernie's head":

Sadly, my head is at a computer at UVa Hospital telling you that tomorrow, Thursday, February 8th, I will undergo yet another surgery related to my brain tumor in the morning.

This all unexpectedly happened when I visited my doctor in Charlottesville complaining of blurred vision. Test after test, results showed that the tumor growing in my brain is squishing my optic nerves, causing blurred and loss of vision in my right eye. The only way to possibly restore sight in that eye completely is to alleviate pressure by removing some of the tumor. They plan on doing this transphenoidally (through the nose). (Eww.)

Please pray for me and keep me in your thoughts. Prop up Paul as he goes through this with me together, because he's the one who's going to be busy propping me up. And pass love to my sister for dropping her scehdule in NYC to be here with me.

Thank you for always checking in,
Ernie

More soon.

A Joke I Heard Recently

Mahatma Gandhi is known to everyone as the famous tibetan monk. He rarely wore shoes or slippers, making the soles of his feet very hard and rough. Gandhi, fully committed to self-sufficiency, ate small vegetarian meals making him thin with little muscle, and quite frail. Unfortunately, this simple diet is what led him to have bad breath.

He is a super-callous fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis.

Superbowl Gone To The Dogs

My sister and I were so excited upon discovering that there was an alternative to watching the Superbowl. Animal Planet proudly assembled the furriest and cutest puppies they could find, put them in a miniature football field, and called it "Puppy Bowl III."

Turned out that this was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. The whole three hour show was nothing but these puppies wrestling with each other. It wasn't a competition where puppies would slowly get eliminated one by one, or judged for their talent. Nope. Just 180 minutes of dogs running around and smelling each other. It wasn't cute. It was boring. I changed the channel eight minutes later.

Don't get me wrong- I love dogs, especially puppies. But to watch them wrestle? Puhleeze. I would rather watch the Christmas tape of a log burning in a fireplace.

Scoutin' For Girls

Um, hello? Where are all the girl scouts sellin' cookies? Are they too lazy to walk door-to-door around the neighborhood anymore? They haven't even gotten their parents to peddle their wares and order forms at Paul's work.

I have looked for them everywhere. The other Saturday, I drove to three Giant Foods and two Safeway grocery stores hopin' to see girls out front selling cookies, but noooo. ("Mom, I don't wanna' go! It's too cold! Plus 'That's So Raven' is on!")

I know it's sellin' cookies season, because I know people who've gotten some. Ellen DeGeneres bought a thousand boxes a couple of weeks ago on her show. They're for sale on ebay. I even went on Girl Scouts of America website, but couldn't figure out whether or not you can order on-line.

I'm so desperate to have girl scout cookies that I bought a half gallon of Edy's Ice Cream Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookie Flavor today.

Please- help this poor, desperate, and bald filipino. If you know ofsomeone selling girl scout cookies, please e-mail me at erniedeomampo@yahoo.com. I want two boxes of Thin Mints and two boxes of Samoas. My belly thanks you belly much.

Men, Get "Skinny" For The Summer

Men: pay attention.

Our fall and winter styles completely changed when slim-fit jeans became the new essential, leaving bootcut and wide-legs in the back of the closet.

And now, as we approach spring and summer, this "slim" look will carry on in the warm weather in the form of skinny shorts. Gone are the big baggy cargo shorts that go beyond your knees. Instead, stores are stocking polished shorts with pockets on the inseam. They are tighter fitting, cleaner-looking, and more importantly, showing more leg.

They may look funny at first, but like skinny jeans, they really become the new essential.

If I may quote GQ:

"Don’t worry, we won’t use the term dress shorts, but we will say there’s something…smart about these. Stripped of below-the-knee baggage (and cargo pockets), these shorts bring a streamlined sophistication to your casual getups. In other words, you’ll actually look like an adult in them."