Monday, April 30, 2007

Weekend Wrap-Up

Don't make sense out of them- even I tried and couldn't.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Way Deep Inside Ernie's Head...

there are all these personal, intimate thoughts buzzing around that could be about you or someone else you know. I wish I could say these to someone, but I don't want to gossip (yeah, right.) Since I have to leave the juicy parts out, I've turned them all into that crazy, funny game we all love to play, Mad Libs! They provide hours of hysterical entertainment for you and all your friends!

*I'm convinced that (masculine first name) is addicted to (noun). We were both close and (adjective) (plural noun), but once I heard he tried and liked the high, I never heard from him again.

*Next time you call, I'm not going to (verb) a lot and let you (verb) the (noun). Let's see if you can handle it.

*It drives me (adjective) that (first name) doesn't understand the way a (adjective)(noun) develops. It takes time, trust, and basic (nouns) that apparently wasn't taught at school. (Same first name), you are a weird bird, indeed.

*(Someone in the room), it's fun hanging with you, but after an hour, you get on my last nerve.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Don't Bee Scared.

The biggest, fattest bumblee (much, much bigger than the one in the picture, in fact, I'm convinced it was the queen) was walking around downstairs in our house. It was about an inch wide. I saw it last night and ignored it, because it looked old and I thought it would die soon. I saw it again this morning, just walking around, and thought I needed to do something about it.

I grabbed a glass and a magazine from the kitchen and went downstairs. It was still walking slowly around on the carpet, and looked like it just couldn't be bothered. I approached it with the glass and trapped it. Still no reaction from the bee. But once I started sliding the magazine underneath the glass, that was it. All of a sudden, the bee started buzzing loudly and the bottom part of its body towards the stinger started pulsating furiously.

It started to fly madly around inside the glass. It was furious. I quickly grabbed the magazine tighter, walked him outside, and as soon as I opened the glass, it flew out. I ran towards the house and saw him buzz up into the air. I was convinced it would come at me like a bull to finish me. Instead, it just noisily buzzed away.

The adrenaline in my blood and my heartbeat took a long time to return to normal.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Closing Comment On Sanjaya

Sorry, I'm not a Fan-jaya. That doe-eyed pubescent minor was pitchy as all get-out and shoulda' been kicked out on the curb a long time ago. I can't even believe I'm wasting space on my blog for him.
Na-na-na, hey-hey-eh-yeah, goodbye-a Sanjaya!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Mart-In Town Next Friday

For those of you in the DC area, aye-aye-aye boy himself, Ricky Martin, will be live in concert a week from tomorrow at thePatriot Center in Fairfax, Virginia.

If you are a true fan, you should have already known about this and bought tickets even though it was not posted on his website. Those of you who want to live la vida loca- you can find some decents seats on ebay.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Won't You Please Help This Little Boy?

Please help prevent him from going through another brain surgery. Click here.

Thank you,

Little Boy

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Dream On.

I dreamed last night that my sister and I asked our cousin to remove her Louis Vuitton shoes so we could see them up close. From the "markings on the heel," we saw that she paid only $75 for the shoes. My sister whispered to me that she bought them from an outlet.

Right. Like there exists an LV outlet. And shoes would be less than a $100.

Friday, April 13, 2007

A Woman Named April

Everyone knows her by now. She's moody, feisty, and a surprising shrew of a woman we wrestle with and can't really understand. One minute we bask in her light, feeling her warmth all around us, but in the next moment, she has turned away from us, and all we feel is a cold and dark shoulder. Some call April schizophrenic, others just see her as a complex woman full of contradictions.

(If you ask me, I think her sisters, May and June, are hotter and more pleasant to deal with.)

Wednesday, April 11, 2007



The doctor said that the radiation seemed to have worked- there is no new growth! And the emergency brain surgery from February seemed to have healed properly 100%!

The doctor said that I am free from treatment for the next three months- no radiation, surgery, or seeing doctors until July. I can also go back to the gym, as hardcore as I want.

He did say I need to gain a lot of the weight back that I lost. Let's celebrate- let's eat!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

A Big Day Tomorrow, Big.

Tomorrow morning Paul and I trek down to Charlottesville (without my parents knowing- shh!) to find out the results of my most recent MRI done last week. This MRI will reveal (we hope):

*whether or not radiation treatments from October and November is still successfully controlling new growth
*whether or not emergency brain surgery in February helped
*whether or not I can return to the gym

I'm anxious. Appointment's at 9AM. Results to be posted ASAP.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Happy Easter!

"Oh death, where is thy sting?"

Friday, April 06, 2007

Good Friday

Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Weird Words

Want to feel like you're a second grader? Try reading aloud the following real words (this doesn't apply to those of you who have a medical background):


(Both words are the official medical term for the study of ear, nose, and throat.)

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Personality Quiz

Mark the following statements that pertain to you or your personality:

*I enjoy watching horses race and the thrill of the steeplechase.
*There's nothing more fun than getting drunk. Especially in public. Me thinks I'm a boozehound (hic).
*It's exciting to put on airs, dress like rich snobs, and publicly criticize others and their outfits around you.
*I'm a cheapskate and can't cook. When I go to parties, I'm there for the free food and drink.

If any of these pertained to you, check this out. And if that still interests you, e-mail me back at

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Straight Shootin'

Instead of copying and pasting yet another hideous purse, I thought I would take a break from the bagging and just start gabbing.

I was around a bunch of people this morning who talked about their birthdays and how their disfunctional families celebrate it. One guy said that he and his parents haven't spoken to each other in three years and the only communication is through obligatory birthday cards. Another person said that her annual birthday call from her mom involves a sermon on how a good daughter finds a husband, serves him faithfully, and has children for the sole purpose of honoring the grandparents. Still another friend of mine said his birthday is difficult because it's the day that his ex chose to break up with him two years ago.

I just listened to their stories for a while, but I finally opened my mouth and said that I'm not even sure whether I will be alive to celebrate my next birthday.

Man, that made the room awkward and quiet.