Targeted

While packing up my things, I had the TV on and was passively watching.

A Target store ad came on and was showing one of the special sales this week: a string of 300 Christmas lights for $49.99AU (about $45US).

Bah humbug- you've got to be kidding me! You can buy a string of 500 Christmas lights for eight bucks practically anywhere in the US!

Aussie friends, if you need lights, e-mail me. Your limited shipments of imported goods and scarcity of selection are ripping you off and putting out my Christmas spirit.

Unbended By Beckham

I went out to lunch yesterday with two friends. After ordering our appetizers, a bald-headed guy and two of other guys walked in. One of my friends gave Baldy a whistling nod of approval. I looked over and thought "Ew, we've got different tastes in men."

Baldy sat down across from me where I noticed his tattooed-covered arms and back. After five minutes, we realized that Baldy was better known as David Beckham, fresh from the morning after L.A. Galaxy played Sydney in a game of soccer.

After a couple of drinks and a bowl of bread, David and his two friends got up to leave. I looked him over- he was significantly shorter than what he looked like on TV, and was a bit scrawny like me. I was not impressed and didn't understand why so many people swoon over him.

I wanted to confirm the details, so I talked to the waiter. We were right: the man who married a Spice Girl sat across from me at lunch.

Ozzie Wrap-Up

Things I miss about the States:
*my sister and my best friend
*my house
*my clothes
*the way the US celebrates Christmas. With the lights, shopping, and food, no other country does it so well. No other city in the world does it better than New York City.

Things I'll miss about Sydney:
*Step classes at the gym
*Hillsong Church
*smorgasbord of different cuisines restaurants
*a masseuse I've been going to
*how happy Paul is while we're here

I'm Pregnant!

Actually, I'm expecting...not a baby, but a puppy.

After years of putting up with my nagging,begging, and whinghing, Paul has allowed me to get a dog.

I've always wanted one to since we got our house (about five years ago). I was thinking of a beagle, but my sister suggested a french bulldog. They look like boston terriers, but they're smaller and less hyper.

If I get a male, I like the name Linus. (Doesn't that sound so cute?) If I get a female, I like Princess Shenequarita Chantale.

Weather In Sydney: Chili's

I almost always talk about the food in Sydney if I'm on the phone with someone asking how I'm doing. I love the food here: fresh-of-the boat sushi, simple yet flavorful Thai food, and good cheap Italian.

Since I only have a few dinners left before I leave, I carefully selected the restaurant Friday night and chose Chili's, where Americans go to get their "baby back" (ribs). We drove over an hour and partook in chili cheese fries, fried mozzarella sticks, and spicy chicken wings- and that was just the appetizers. We kept on eating- not because we were hungry (we were feeling gross), but because we were at Chili's. How American-like.

12 Days Of Sydney

That's how many days we have left before we go from saying "G'day mate" to "Hey, duuude!"

My trip to the Philippines and Singapore was fun, but now it's time to start wrapping things up in Sydney before we head back to the USA.

Happy Thanksgiving Eve to everyone in the States. May your day be filled with little traffic as you head home, and may tomorrow bring you many early bird shopping inserts in the newspaper.

Where Are Ernie's Ears?

I don't know, but they sho' ain't on his head.

He bought these three CDs in Singapore: The Essential Dean Martin, The Essential Tony Bennett, and The Essential Andy Williams.

He must be in the mood to hear sleepy AM radio station from the 60's.

Are The Rumors True?

Ernie Deomampo Jr., of all the most unread people on the entire planet, allegedly went to a filipino store yesterday and bought a book.

Not only that, unconfirmed sources claim he actually picked it up and started to read it.

An unidentified shopper saw him pick out a book from Lauren Weisberger, author of The Devil Wears Prada. The chick-lit novel, called Everyone Worth Knowing, is "deliciously entertaining," according to Life magazine.

Ernie's spokesperson could not be reached to confirm the strange behavior Ernie is said to be demonstrating. Paparazzi is trying hard to actually get a photo but has been unable to locate him in the jungle.

Thank You For Checking In...

even though I haven't been able to check in myself...

I'm checkin' out of the jungle pretty soon. On Friday morning, I leave the Philippines for Singapore, where I meet up with Paul and stay for a long weekend.

So, in saying goodbye and showing how the Philippines was truly unlike any other experience, this is a picture of the at-home massage I had. I'm not too sure what tool he was using, but it knocked me out. (Maybe it was a tranquilizer gun.)

Again, nice price point: $3US for an hour.

Jacked-Up Gym

If you think you're gym is old and tired (not the people), you ain't seen nothing yet.

I went to the nearby gym in the jungle- it ain't a gym, it's a gymnasium.

There was no air-conditioning, the oldest, rust-covered equipment, and dirt everywhere. No locker rooms for changing clothes.

I complained to the attendant that it was too hot so he said I could remove my shirt. I went ahead and showed off my bony, skinny self.

Plea-se

I hate askin' for money.

Up the street from my parents' house, is this family of four sisters. My mom and dad, and now I have fallen in love with all four of them. My mom hired the two eldest as our maids (one of them was the one washing my pj's). The other two are still young and in school.

They are the most happiest girls, one of whom makes my dad laugh all the time. They love hanging out the house doing stuff for my family, and don't ask for anything in return. They're always embarassed and honored if I treat them out for dessert or some filipino fast food.

Their house is jacked-up. They're poor. Poor, poor, poor. Dad left 'em a long time ago for another woman, leaving the mom without a job, and stuck with the four girls.

They need two things: a fridge and some tiles in the bathroom.

First, check out the bathroom: no running water. To flush the toilet, you gotta dump some water in it for it to drain. No shower or bathtub. Get a big bucket, fill it up, and then use a small bowl to pour water over yo' head.

Food's always at room temp if not warmer. Can't keep milk around- so they use powdered milk. Everything spoils quickly, including eggs and fruit they buy several days ago.

Tiles in bathroom: $86US
A decent sized fridge: $93US

If you'd like to help out for one of these things, e-mail me at erniedeomampo@yahoo.com. I'll pay for it, and then we can work out how you pay me back. I'll get you receipts to show you proof that your money went to one of these needs.

(I would have already gave them money for the tiles, but I bought them something else they needed- railing around their very steep and scary stairs.)

Welcome To The Jungle!

I would write more, but again, not enough time to talk.

I'll explain these two pics:

*Wendy's- serves rice and noodles here in the Philippines (McDonald's serves spaghetti)

*At Your Service, In Your House Pedicure- clean, hygenic, and cost a total of 43 US cents.

15 Minute Plug-In

WOW. I can't believe I'm in the most provincial town of 'em all, Batangas. I found an internet "cafe", where they have all of two computers available for the country folks to use. (Hey, I'll take technology wherever I can find it.)

Here are a couple of pictures just to show you how lost I am in translation. I won't explain any of them, I'll leave them to your imagination.

Well, maybe Ill explain just one: the woman with a tub of soapy water is one of the maids washing my pajamas by hand. She does it every morning, despite me telling her that it's not necessary because they're not dirty. She even irons them when they're dry!

Singapore Layover

Free internet stand, limited time, so I'll make this short-

A-380 is a BIG, FAT CRUISE SHIP. Actually, it's not a plane or a boat, it's a BUILDING ON IT'S SIDE. It's like an original Hummer- its presence along with others of its kind just says, "GET THE CRAP OUT OF MY WAY."

It's only a week old, and it has that "new car" smell inside. Ahhhh.

I flew coach, but the coach section has tons and tons of legroom, like you're sitting in bulkhead. And it's so quiet on the second level that I didn't even realize we were up in the air so soon after takeoff.

Movies on-demand, music playlists you create yourself, good food, great service.

First class!