Hair Nightmare

Women (and some of you fussy, high-maintenace men):

I know what it's like to go to a hair salon excited about getting your new 'do, only to have you run out the doors in tears and complete dissatisfaction.

Here are a few tips I learned today when getting your new haircut/style:

1) Style your hair before going into the salon, especially if you're going to see a hairstylist you've never used before. Never go in wearing a hat. A pre-haircut style will allow them to see how you currently wear it.

2) The consultation is the most important step, so over-communicate. The consultation is where most mistakes occur, so don't be afraid to reiterate your wishes repeatedly. That way it is clear to them what your desires are. If possible, show the stylist photos of hairstyles you like. And never consult with wet hair- cowlicks and curls hide under freshly shampooed and damp hair.

3) While getting your haircut/styled, don't cross your legs. Tilted body = crooked haircut. Sit up straight, head square on, and don't move it until they move it for you. Don't get too involved in your magazine- it will cause you to look down and not pay attention to your posture. It will also turn your attention away from what is happening to your hair.

4) At the end, don't be pressured to like it. Speak up. Say "Listen, I don't like the way it is done." Walking out the door and never using them is not enough. They need to know when it goes wrong, and they would rather you be honest than to wonder why you never returned.

I Rebuff Your Buff.

Gross. This is so unforgiving.

Positively A Tacky Thought

This sounds crass. I'm sorry, but-

What's the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day? Is it that one of them salutes military servicemen and women who are still alive and the other one salutes those who are dead?

New Record Low

Got on the scale this morning- 113 pounds (51.4 kilos). I'm eating regularly, feeling good, and doing cardio and lifting weights 5-7 days a week.

But I think Paul, my sister, and family think thinner = sick(er).

I think it just means I'm different than before, like my hair.

Thoughts?

NIGHTMARE!!

I had a terrible, terrible dream last night. Since my parents knew that I would never get married, they thought of having a different kind of ceremony: a match-up. They lined up about ten filipino women up against a wall, and I was to walk by them and guess which one my parents talked to who was willing to first be friends with me, date me, and then see if it led to getting married.

As I walked past the women, they were all laughing and smiling at me, talking to each other. I thought I'd play along. But near the end, there was this one cute woman who seemed fun, and was being egged on by her friends to get out of line and give me a hug.

It was her. She was the one who would become my everyday friend, whom my parents hoped would be my girlfriend, and hopefully my future wife. She spoke fluent English, and I liked her heels she was wearing.

After giving her a hug, and carrying her "over the threshold", I panicked. This is wrong. All wrong. I'm misleading my parents. If I don't stop this now, it will only get harder here on out. I can't play this charade. I've got to pull the brakes on this! HELP!

I woke up, breathing fast- no joke. Man, I'm so glad that wasn't real.

The New Ernie = Enrique

After going through radiation late last year and another brain surgery in February of this year, I lost 1) all my hair, all 2) all my muscle, and 3) roughly thirty pounds.

My hair: it is growing back; it's a very soft texture, like baby's hair. And there's hardly any gray unlike before.

My muscle: About a month ago, the doctor said it was okay me go back to the gym, so I'm finally getting something that seems to resemble a bicep. (Yay!)

Thirty pounds: Now a lot of that weight lost is muscle, which I will regain little by little. But hear me out: What if the new Ernie is also just thirty pounds lighter? My family and everyone else around me are trying to figure out how to put weight back on me- eating fattening food, eating every hour, doing less cardio, etc. But what if the Ernie which was 145+ pounds is now history, and the new Ernie has a lean body, like Enrique Iglesias? He's attractive, skinny, no butt (just look at the pictures above). Maybe that's the new Ernie. Cute in his own way and kinda' skinny.

I'd Like To Buy A Vowel. An "E" Please.

What do you get when you cross a filipino boy with a bad streak at the roulette table?

A player spinning on the Wheel Of Fortune slot machine!

Strange But True

Well, just when you've thought you've heard it all...there's "The Ping Pong Song". It has the sounds of a ping pong game throughout the entire song. And the kicker is that it's going to be hot! Tons of radio airplay when it drops, and soon, you'll be humming the tune, wanting a copy of it yourself.

And it's not from a flash-in-the pan "boy band." It's actually Enrique Iglesias' first release from his new upcoming album. Check it out for yourself. But beware- it's very catchy! Just remember that you heard about it here first, right here on my blog, the cutting edge of the oldest butter knife in the drawer.

I Am Not Nicole Richie.

But her and I may have something in common. I don't know what to call it- maybe an eating disfunction, an eating disorder, or just a weird thing I have because of my brain tumor. But whatever you call it, it certainly is a problem.

I have no sense of an appetite. My brain or stomach cannot recognize when I should eat. Most of the time, I "feel" full, like I just finished eating. The only time I recognize when I should eat is when I am so tired and completely lethargic, or if I bite someone's head off by being short or saying something mean that came from nowhere.

And when I eat, I don't eat a lot. I sit at the table, slowly munching, because the little food that's in my mouth feels like a lot.

Paul, my sister, and my mom, know about it. They check in with me constantly to find out what time I had something to eat, and how much food was it.

It's tough. I'd try to explain how the desire for fried fatty food comes into play with this, but I'm just way too tired right now.

Perhaps it's time to eat.

Mother's Day In Green Bay

Dinner at Melting Pot (located in another city far from Green Bay). The Yin Yang is dark and white chocolate fondue.

WOW.

I'm here in Green Bay. Paul's sister just finished giving me a tour of the town. Let's just say that there is truly nothing here. Need me to prove it to 'ya?

There's no Starbucks. Anywhere.

Wisconsin: check.

For some people, satisfaction is received from marking and checking the different countries they've visited in their lifetime. In my case, it's checking different states in America that I've been to. Tomorrow morning, I leave to spend the weekend with Paul's sister who lives in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Apparently, there's nothing to do there. There isn't even an (gulp) indoor mall! It's very blue-collar there. But don't blue-collar workers spend money at places besides Super Wal*Mart and True Value Hardware?

After a weekend with Paul's sister in Little Town, USA, it's off to visit my sister in big city, Manhattan.

(Need a Green Bay Packer Cheesehead? Too bad- I ain't gettin' it.)

My Review

Spidey me no likey.

I'm A Survivor!

I ran the Brain Tumor Race For Hope 5K race/walk held today in Washington, D.C.! Paul and I got up at the crack of dawn, made our way down to Constitution Avenue, and lined up. Survivors of brain tumors wore bright yellow tees marking their achievement/struggle and marched in a parade prior to the race.

We "ran" the 5K in 37 minutes and 2 seconds. Hey- I'm just happy to have "ran" the whole time and crossed the finish line.

Your Next Two Months

Happy Summer Movies 2007! As Spiderman 3 kicks it off today, here is the blockbuster line-up week by week for your next nine fridays:

May 11th- 28 Weeks Later
May 18th- Shrek The Third
May 25th- Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End
June 1st- Mr. Brooks (Uh huh. I knew you'd be saying "What- Who?" Click here.)
June 8th- Ocean's Thirteen
June 15th- Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer
June 22nd- Evan Almighty
June 29th- Ratatouille

And my pick, the piece de resistance, for July 4th: Transformers. Ahh...don't be fooled by the title. It's not all what you think, like a a cartoon or a Pixar/Dreamworks project. Click here.

Spidey 4?

The entire cast of Spiderman 3, Tobey Maguire (Peter Parker), Kirsten Dunst (Mary Jane), James Franco (Green Goblin), Topher Grace (Venom) and Thomas Haden Church (Sandman), were on MTV TRL, yesterday. They were all asked that if the director would do a sequel, would they want to be in it, nobody said anything except Tobey, who said yes.

(I think all the villains didn't reply because they all get killed on Spiderman 3.)

And this morning, Kirsten Dunst confirmed her lack of desire on Good Morning America, saying that she would not do a sequel because she was tired of her character being in peril. She followed her statement saying that she wasn't even supposed to be in Spiderman 3.

Pearl The Landlady

Cute and funny. But turn down your speakers a little if you're in a public place.