Ladies And Gentlemen...

Boys and Girls, Cougars and Billy Goats, our time has come. Tomorrow is the big day when all our questions will be answered in a mere two hours and fifteen minutes. So soak it up, relish the moment, but most of all, keep your expectations reasonable. But chop-chop, princess! Many Manolo maniacs purchased advance tickets leaving many showtimes unavailable.

Is Steve? Smith? Big? And Harry? We shall soon find out.

Enjoy and see you there!

Cosmopolitan kisses and Tartini dreams,

Ernie

The Long And "Shorts" Of It

Men, I said it last year, and I'll say it again: no matter how crazy the pattern, your shorts this summer need to be slim cut and hit above the knee (preferably an inch or more), not on or below it.

Because jeans have stayed slim again for three years in a row, wear shorts with more of a slim cut and finally toss out those baggy cargos you wore four years ago.

Remember, the new modern preppy is what's hot.

"Bermuda shorts: an integral part of a man's wardrobe. He wears them cut like dress trousers, only hemmed just above the knee."

-The Official Preppy Handbook

Nutrition Vs. Transportation

Has gas put a hole in your wallet? What about a food you've been craving for?

I've been to the Cheesecake Factory seven times in the past two weeks to take home cheesecake. I've had:
-two slices of plain cheesecake
-one entire small plain cheesecake
-one entire medium plain cheesecake
-three slices of fresh banana cheesecake.

Trust me- it adds up to become a very expensive (and fattening) habit.

Build-A-Bear Meets Pimp My Ride

Ridemakerz is the newest and hottest store coming soon to a mall near you.

First, each "driver" picks out a car or truck. Then they select a color and style of paintjob, followed by choosing "street" or "monster" styling. From there the choices grow exponentially: selecting engine sounds, music from the stereo systen, freewheel or remote-control, choice of wheels, rims, decals, spoilers, and tailpipes.

Finally, the driver gets to personalize their licence plates and receives a title and a "RIN"- "Ride Identification Number."

Pretty cool and right up my alley.

Counterfeit Indy Products

In order to protect plot details and the story behind the next Indy movie, five fake titles were registered by Spielberg to throw off the media and gossip blabbermouths: "The City of Gods", "The Destroyer of Worlds", "The Fourth Corner of the Earth", "The Lost City of Gold", and "The Quest for the Covenant."

Goodbye 911, Hello 24/7!

Passing Of The Torch

Mario's Pizza House has served pizza and subs in Arlington, Virginia since 1957. As young newlyweds, my mom and dad would visit D.C. and stop by Mario's to split one of their Philly Steak N' Cheese subs. They remember the sandwich well.

Today, in order to carry on the tradition and keep the Deomampo legacy alive, I ordered one for myself. I got it just the way my parents ordered theirs, except I added mayo, mustard, coleslaw, and pickles.

It was good, but perhaps not the way I would spend a day's worth of fat grams. I'd rather have a slice of homemade lasagna or a small pizza from Giordano's in Chicago.

Summer Bummer

Next Saturday is Memorial Day weekend, marking the official start of the summer season. What I find impossible to believe is that the weather has not been "summery" at all but remains spring-like: testy, ill-mannered, and extremely volatile.

I can't imagine people laying out on the beach, let alone swimming in the ocean. This weather is way too cold.

I predict the weather in D.C. will just "pop" one day in June: all of a sudden, it'll be consistently sunny, hot, and humid every day.

Last Place For "Speed Race"

Oh, Wachowski Brothers. What and where did it all go wrong? And why, why, why?

I thought "the critics must be wrong- after all, these are the boys that made 'The Matrix'", so I went against the tide and bought a ticket.

I kept thinking to myself "I know I should like it, even just for sentimental reasons. After all, I'm a kid at heart."

Was I wrong. Oh, I'm so sad. The movie was too caught up in a drama that race car fans/car enthusiasts have no interest in.

I mourn the death of Speed's brother, and now, thanks to this mess of a movie, Speed himself.

Here Or There?

I know whether these people are still "here" or whether they're "there" in an eternal resting place. Do you?

*Richard Dawson (host of "Family Feud")
*Dean Martin (singer and member of the Rat Pack)
*Andy Williams (singer of "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year" and "Love Story")
*Twiggy (former British supermodel)
*Farah Fawcett (actress in "Charlie's Angels")
*Walter Lantz (creator of "Woody Woodpecker")
*Lee Majors (star of "Six Million Dollar Man")
*Lindsay Wagner (star of "Bionic Woman")
*Judy Blume (author of children's novels)

Social Climber

It's been said that women "graduate" through men like their purse brands: first they start with something like Le Sportsac, then they move or "graduate" up to Guess, Dooney & Bourke, Coach, Kate Spade, Fendi, Gucci, Burberry, Ferragamo, Prada, Louis Vuitton, Hermes, and then Chanel.

Now I've been through many watch brands: Swatch, G Shock, Skagen, Swiss Army, and Tag Heuer. I loved and treasured them all, but I never felt "done" until I got a Rolex.

Now I'm on red convertible sports cars: I first had a Miata, then an Alfa Romeo, a Cadillac, now a Mercedes. I'm very thankful for each and every one of them. Do I feel "done"? Almost- I still think it would be fun to drive a Porsche.

Materialistic? No. (Well, maybe a little.) Label 'ho? Absolutely.

(The car pictured is for sale at a dealership in Manassas, Virginia. Ernie, you're pathetic! You haven't even owned the Mercedes for a month and you're already wanting something else?!Dream on silly boy.)

This Weekend: Speed Racer

Seeing the trailer and watching interviews of those starring in the movie not only excites me about the film, but sends me back in time nearly thirty-three years ago. When I was four years old, I would watch the cartoon "Speed Racer" very early in the morning (either at 6:30AM or 7:00AM.) Since my parents thought that was way too early for a child to watch cartoons, my dad would turn the TV to a non-working channel (channel "U") at night and remove the channel changer dial.

I found it one time (very high up on a bookshelf) so he had to re-hide it.

"Kimba The White Lion" cartoon came on afterwards.

For Every Action...

There's an equal and opposite Ernie reaction:

warmer weather outside = slower running pace
fattening food = buddah belly (even at 103 pounds)
margarita = sweet and savory cravings satisfied simultaneously
chemotherapy = forgetfulness & fatigue
chatterbox = rolling of eyes and the desire to run away

New Low For Chemo Brain

The piece de resistance of my Louis Vuitton collection is Boite Pharmacie, a beauty case that comes with a smaller box inside for your jewelry or make-up.

Unfortunately, I forgot where I put the key to unlock it so I turned the house upside down in hopes of finding it. Unfortunately, the key was absolutely nowhere to be found. It had vanished into thin air.

I called my friend at Louis Vuitton to see if I could get a replacement. But since the beauty case is a limited production piece of luggage, they would have to order it from Paris, France and would take two to three months for it to be sent to the US. Of course, I would have to pay dearly for my misfortune: anywhere from $150 to $200. I was sad and mad at the same time. But I needed the key, since my expensive watch collection was inside the case.

As I put the case away in my closet. I realized that it was unlocked the whole time, and when I opened it, inside was the key.

My Face In The Race

Thanks to you all for your support and sponsorship! You made the day so special!