Don't Do The "Liu"

Lucy Liu's on the press junket promoting her new movie "3 Needles". The unique thing about "3 Needles" is Lucy speaks Mandarin the whole time. The not-so unique thing is that "3 Needles" utilizes the worn out multi-story genre closely behind the heels of "Crash", "Syriana", and Babel".

"The interweaving of several stories has worn thin, and is too predictable of a plot for regular movie attenders," according to Entertainment Weekly.

Guess we need to go back to the "I used to not like you, but now that we conquered evil and saved earth, I am completely in love with you" plot.

Safety Seat For Adults

Where is the safest place to sit in a car? And where is the safest seat on a plane?

According to an article I read in the December issue of Men's Health, the safest seat in a car was the one I thought was the most dangerous: the middle seat in the rear. Men's Health experts said it "was the seat furthest away from the 'crush zone', the area where an automobile could crumple in a collision." The only issue is that only 46% of passengers in that particular seat fasten their safety belt, keeping it risky, but still the "least" dangerous of the five available.

On a plane? They're all "bad if the plane's going down."

(Thanks for reassuring air travel safety, Men's Health.)

They did suggest keeping yourself as sanitary as possible on the plane by washing hands often, avoid sitting near those who appear and sound sick, and using sanitary sheets from planesheets, a company who makes disposable and washable planesheets that fit over your planeseat. (I don't know abou'chu, but the thought of putting my head on that headrest makes me airsick.)

I'm A Big Fat Turkey

I dropped the big bird on my parents last Wednesday when I told them I was moving back to D.C. this Saturday, December 1st. Of course they couldn't oppose it or do much, because I called them halfway across the world in the Philippines, and they won't return to the U.S. until December 19th, all of which was part of my plan (mwah ha ha!)

So with that set in place, effective immediately, my mailing address is:
Ernie Deomampo, Jr.
227 N. Greenbriar Street
Arlington, Va. 22203

My cell phone number and e-mail address will stay the same.

Come and visit. Anytime you need a place to stay while in D.C., you're always welcome.

Happy Black Friday!

Love, Santa and a Jerry's Kid

Turkey Gizzard Guzzled

In case you haven't heard, you can save time and money by drinking your Thanksgiving dinner from a six pack of soda. Covering all courses, each bottle serves a different dish: Green Bean Casserole Soda, Mashed Potato & Butter Soda, Fruitcake Soda, Cranberry Soda and Turkey & Gravy Soda. Wow- tempting, but, no.

This year, someone stepped it up a notch by putting Thanksgiving dinner into six cookies. Yes, even a turkey and gravy cookie. Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa tried them this morning- only the sweet potato pie cookie was satisfactory.

Be "thankful" this year for what you're family is cooking/burning/undercooking.

He Claims To Be James

And I was truly convinced of his identity Saturday afternoon.

Daniel Craig does an amazing job of deconstructing and then rebuilding James Bond that elevates him from a suave, debonair gentleman to a burly man's man who gets the job done. Although he's missing the pretty-face to stare at, his body is 100% pure tenderloin steak.

And if you're not a poker player, you may want to take a crash course: "Casino Royale" will take you to the tables for a high-stakes game that lasts a good 15 minutes of the movie.

Enjoy. I surely did.

The World's Largest Crowd

NYC has been extremely cold for someone who's been through radiation.

What's worse is that NYC has been extremely crowded for everyone. Since my sister and I were in the neighborhood, we stopped in *the* Macy's for a quick peek at an electric shaver.

What we saw was ridiculous. Tourists to the left of me, visitors on the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with them.

Macy's Thanksgiving Parade Turkey Float Arrives Early

Because I hop on a bus tomorrow morning for NYC.

This trip'll be torture because I want to go shopping all day long, but my body is just too tired. (Although I'm a pretty tough bird, recovery from the radiation has been hard.)

I'm not planning on attending the parade either, but if you need a Christmas gift for you or for someone you know from NYC, drop me a note and I'll try to get it for you.

More to write about from the World's Largest Store, New York. Stay tuned.

Fergie's "Fergalicious"

Gimme a break.

What a pitiful, pitiful song. The entire song is Fergie singing about how great Fergie is.

A message to Fergie: Little Boosie, I always admired you and the Peas despite the terribly sad song "My Humps." But now, I've lost all respect for you. Singing about you is different than blogging about you: a blog is a journal.

One music critic in a radio magazine said it best: "'Fergilicious' is a mindless, uncreative, and pathetically talentless song that makes J.J. Fad's 'Supersonic' a Grammy winner."

I'll take "Wind It Up" by Gwen Stefani any day before I sit through an entire radio airplay of "Fergalicious", although Gwen sounds like she's singing japanese "Wan-doh!"

Portrait

Army Recruit? No. Radiation Survivor.

To "Play": Be "Station"ed at "3"AM

After work this Thursday be sure to eat dinner, grab a sleeping bag and head over to your nearest electronics store: the arrival of what video gamers are heralding "the mecca of systems", Playstation 3, arrive in stores Friday morning, November 17th.

To shorten your wait, both Best Buy and Circuit City will open their doors at 8:00AM. According to Best Buy's insert yesterday, each store location will have a minimum of 26 systems available.

Other options: Wal*Mart and Target. Wishing you a warm weather night to those of you braving the challenge.

Sarah Jessica: "Sex" Caught On Film

The urban myth no longer exists! A full-length movie of "Sex And The City" is now a reality! After the series ended on HBO, talks about a full-length movie solidified when producers agreed on a script. Once that was in place, all actors and actresses agreed to do it, all EXCEPT Kim Cattrall.

An "unofficial" announcement went out through Hollywood Wednesday morning announcing that recent talks resolved "the issues" that scrapped the whole plan several years ago.

(My guess is that Kim was open to the idea again because she couldn't land any other major roles in a series/movie production.)

Shooting could start as early as late spring/early summer 2007, depending on partnership agreements with fashion labels involved.

AHHHH!

I AM DONE! Wow- Radiation treatment is finally over. I feel like a huge one ton machine was lifted off my chest (I guess that really happened!) As soon as I was done, I got teary-eyed and felt like running, running anywhere away from the hospital, a ten mile run to who-knows-where, only to then board a plane and go somewhere sunny, sandy, and full of palm trees.

Speaking of feeling free...

(CHEESY INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR VOICE): "Lose weight guaranteed! Free yourself from excess pounds! Introducing Radiation Therapy! It's fast! It's quick! It's easy! AND IT WORKS! Just lie still in the machine for four weeks, and watch the pounds just melt right off! Listen to Ernie!"

(SLOW-SPEAKING TIRED VOICE, SHORT SENTENCES LIKE CHRISTOPHER REEVE): "It's true. Before, I weighed a healthy 145 pounds. Now I only weigh 130. My clothes are all baggy. I lost 15 pounds. And I'm bald."

(NARRATOR): "Call 1-888-RADIATION-SUX!"

Doodie On Doogie

Wow. Another "friend of Dorothy" made his way down the yellow brick road as Neil Patrick Harris, star of CBS' current show "How I Met Your Mother" announced he's gay.

We know him better know as Doogie Howser, M.D. He came out boldly and told People magazine last Friday that he's a "content gay man and lives life to the fullest".

Impossible! Gay men are never content as long as Prada keeps popping out new footwear.

Cas-Uno Royale

Last Fall, movie fans were graced with three huge blockbusters to help numb the pain of Thanksgiving with the in-laws (or just the family, for that matter.) Do you remember what they were? They were "King Kong," "Chronicles Of Narnia," and "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." This year, Bond fights alone in "Casino Royale." EW predicts the next blockbuster won't arrive until December, when "Night At The Museum" starring Ben Stiller arrives in theaters.

Until then, it's just "Bond, James Bond."

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday

and I AM DONE.

Three more treatments this week and I am finito, done, and through with radiation.

Three more days of pouring glasses of whine and making you drink the distaste and bitterness that has fermented in my body.

We can go back to talking about life and living, things like Ted Haggard, reverend of an 14,000 member evangelical church who's accused of hiring a male prostitute and asking him to find some meth (you bad boy!) Things like my straight friends popping babies everywhere, things like my duped DVD copy of "Cars" that I've had for two weeks before it's official release this Tuesday. The list goes on.

Lots to discuss. Just pray for me to get through these last three days and for a speedy recovery immediately afterwards.

I am sick.
I am tired.
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.