"If I Can't Lose Weight, I'll Make My Friends Fat."

Oprah, is that your new mantra? What are you doing to poor Nate Berkus, your home decorator/designer you have on for home makeovers? Did you tell him about that whatever "non-diet" you're on? Every time I see him on your show, he's getting bigger and bigger, like Emeril Lagasse. His chin, cheeks, and belly have really opened up the room.

Nate, your berkus needs a workus at the gym.

(But I ain't hatin'!)