'Housewives' Fired

Dear Lynette, Edie, Bree, Susan and Gaby,

I loved you women for two and a half seasons, but I'm writing you to tell you our relationship is through. I set aside my Sunday nights to spend quality time with you, but recently my feelings have started to change and I no longer feel attached.

I wish you all nothing but the best as you try and iron out your messy, messy lives.

Hugs,
Ernie