Ernie, You So Crazy!

Whenever I'm at a restaurant and I see a lot of overweight people around me eating, I think "conspiracy." The "conspiracy" I imagine is that all humans get eaten when they die by one big, hungry monster with a bottomless stomach. Naturally, the hungry monster likes meaty, juicy food, so he populates earth (especially the USA) with fattening yet appetizing food. The more we eat, the bigger we get, the more the monster gets to eat.