A Horse Named Chemo

Oye. People, I gotta' be honest with you.

Paul hears it every single day, poor guy. I am so freakin' tired *all* the time. When people call and ask how I'm doing, it's the same monotonous answer over and over in return: "I'm tired" or "I'm exhausted". I feel like a one-trick pony.

Some nights I sleep for a non-stop 9 hours (for some of you all, that's a Godsend) and I wake up *exhausted*. In the afternoon, I need a nap. You can't say it's from too much sleep, because if I only sleep the 8 1/2 hours I used to get before I was on chemo, I am groggy and feel like it's the middle of the night. After the 8 1/2 hours, I still need to go down in the afternoon.

Some chemo patients say they have good days and bad days. Not me. I have good hours and bad hours.

Today I was at the gym and a woman came up to me and asked how I'm doing. I did my one-trick routine, "I'm tired". She said she was sorry to hear that, and proceeded to ask if it's okay for her to ask, since some people on chemo don't like talking about it. I told her I'm fine talking about it.

Let's get this straight: I am completely fine talking about it. It's probably good for me. I like to talk about it, because a burden comes off my back. The question is this: But is it good for you to ask? You already know my same song and dance.

Don't ever be embarassed to ask. Only be afraid, because it'll get boring quick.

MRI next Tuesday, doctor's appointment next Wednesday.