This Saturday...

Is a big day for me: it marks the TWO year anniversary since the doctors told me I had a year left to live! How about them apples!

It feels good, it really does. I really didn't think I'd make it this far, and I don't know anyone besides God who knows how long I truly have left.

What did I learn this past year? Hmm...I learned a lot about me, my relationship with God, and most of all, how to live a life more boldly and courageously. such as saying the words "I love you" more often to my family and to others I cared about. I learned to worry a lot less about people's opinion of me, I learned to let go of even more things I cannot control, and recently, I came to a realization that my greatest fear in life, the fear of gaining bad weight, had complete control over my life. As of today, I am now aware of that and need to decide whether to allow it to continue controlling me and my compulsive working out behavior, or do I take control of it and be more happy.

And without getting all sentimentally gooey and ridiculously sappy, I thank the three anchors in my life who have kept me afloat and steady through the choppy waters and stormy weather: Paul, my sister Ellen, and my best friend, Dave.

"I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fu Manchu.
And I loved deeper, And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said 'someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'."

-Tim McGraw