A Little Bit Of Wisdom

From Chris Rock:
"Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!"

From Ellen DeGeneres:
"I have just learned that penguins are monogamous for life, which doesn'treally surprise me all that much because they all look exactly alike. It's not like they're going to meet a better looking penguin someday."

From Jerry Seinfeld:
"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care about what else is on TV."

And from Samuel Jackson:
"Get these *#$%&+@ snakes off this *#$%&+@ plane!"