Stick Out Your Tongue And Go "Pbbbbth"

I'm crabby. I should just go to bed.

I'm tired of all this sugar. I am so sick of making appointments and going to the neuro-oncologist, the opthomalogist, the endocrinologist, and now a liver specialist. I'm tired of organizing my chemo schedule while feeling like crap, and pretending to people that things are okay. I'm sick of getting poked at like a pin cushion, and my forearm looking like one of a heroin addict. And I'm tired of dressing like an eskimo, bundled up under five layers of long sleeve shirts (and a blazer for extra warmth) and thermal underwear underneath my jeans because it feels like it is three degrees outside.

But I should have an attitude of gratitude, right? I mean, there are benefits- I don't work, I can sleep in, I have the liberty to eat as much fattening food as I want, and I no longer feel completely enslaved to working out and going to the gym.

Half-full or half-empty glass? "Pbbbbth."

Truthfully speaking: I'm not sure whether I'll live past 2011. The way things are going for me now, I just think, well, I'll be done sooner than later. I know, I can't predict the future, and 2011 is such an arbitrary random date.

I don't know.

I should just go to bed.